A wide angle night shot of a bride and groom under a castle dorrway

5 Wedding Tips for Shy & Introverted Couples

For those – like me – who don’t like being the centre of attention, a wedding can elicit feelings of anxiety and worry as much as it brings joy and excitement. There is so much information online about ‘breaking all the rules’, planning an alternative day and sticking two fingers up at traditions, but what about those of us who aren’t naturally rebellious, extroverted and comfortable in our own skin?

This blog is for everyone who prefers to shun the limelight, shy away from big entrances and large crowds and who want all the wonder and memories a wedding day brings without having to step outside of your comfort zone.

head and shoulders image of a bride in a veil looking down

1. Remember your wedding is not a performance

The very first thing to remove from your belief system is the idea that a wedding day is about a performance.  You are not on the stage or putting on a show. At the very heart of every wedding is love. It’s exchanging vows and making a lifetime commitment to each other. That’s it.

You do not need to act in a way that doesn’t feel natural to you, make people laugh, or develop a new extroverted personality for the day. Remember this at every stage of wedding planning. When you are meeting potential suppliers, ask yourselves whether they will help you to stay true to who you are and not need to step too far outside of your comfort zone.

A bride being helped out of her vintage wedding car by her dad

2. Rewrite traditions to reduce situations that bring anxiety

Wedding traditions are slowly changing, and couples are now realising that no tradition is compulsory. This means that you can curate every part of your day to minimise feelings of stress and avoid moments that force you to step too far out of your comfort zone.

If you hate the idea of being stared at as you walk down the aisle – be the first ones to enter the room and have your guests enter afterwards. Or have an intimate ceremony with just a few witnesses, and only invite guests later in the day. You can choose to cut the cake in private (or with just your photographer present).  You can opt out of a first dance or have a wedding without an evening reception at all. Alternatively, invite everyone up to dance at the same time so your first dance is nestled in amongst everyone else and not the focus of your guests’ attention. You don’t need all your wedding team around you when you get ready and can instead have some quiet reflective time as you prepare for the special day ahead.

Make your wedding timeline work for you. No part of a wedding day should be bringing more anxiety than joy.

a female wedding guest smiles as she holds a glass of gin on the dance floor

3. Put entertainment in place

Whilst you might not want to be the centre of attention, you’ll no doubt want to ensure your guests have a fun and enjoyable day. I can assure you that just seeing you both joyfully say “I do” will bring them oodles of pleasure. However, to relieve yourself of the pressure of being the hosts with the most, hire some entertainers for different parts of the day. Close-up magicians, singers and musicians, and even comedians can all be hired at various times throughout your wedding to keep everyone entertained.  That allows you to slip away for photos, and /or have some alone time and not worry that you aren’t being attentive to your guests’ needs. Oh and if the canopes and drinks are flowing most people tend to be pretty happy!

a bride astride her horse as he walks towards the camera

4. Limit guest numbers

Small, intimate, and micro weddings are by no means ‘lesser’ weddings. If you value deeper conversations and more quality time with each of your guests, this is a great way to ensure you can connect with each of your loved ones on your special day.  Weddings aren’t a popularity contest and keeping things low-key doesn’t mean you have to skimp on style and luxury. It just means you can focus on what is important to you. Plan a wedding that makes you feel good, rather than one that makes you simply look good.

A bride and groom hold hands and look at the camera during the golden hour

5. Meet all prospective suppliers before booking

Reels are great fun, social media is addictive and website copy and be inspiring and enticing, but nothing beats real face-to-face interaction for getting a feel for people. When you are shy or more introverted in nature, you may prefer suppliers who are on a similar wavelength who can empathise with some of your wedding day anxieties and put you at ease. Nothings beats the feeling of being able to be completely yourself in front of wedding vendors and the relief and peace of mind this brings is priceless.




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If you’re looking for calm, compassionate wedding photography in Essex  that makes you not just look good but feel good too, then please do not hesitate to get in touch.


Ross Willsher Photography

Address: 5 Moulsham Barn, Waterson Vale, Chelmsford, Essex CM2 9QE

Phone: 07590 520539

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