MARK CAFFREY
GET TO KNOW Mark
Mark is a wonderful London wedding celebrant with a real passion for art, literature, and creativity. He is passionate about helping couples like you to celebrate your love story with vows and a ceremony structure that is curated around who you are and what you value.
Mark will happily play as large or as small a role in your day as you want and will be a calm and gentle guiding light on your wedding planning journey.
Tell me your celebrant story – how did life lead you to becoming a wedding celebrant?
There’s lots to this. I grew up in N Ireland in the 80s where religion had too much of an influence on our young lives in too many ways – including preventing LGBTQIA people like me from freely expressing love on their own terms. Celebrants can celebrate all that is personal and unique and authentic in a couple’s journey and story – and that brings me a lot of joy. I initially acted a celebrant for close friends before being encouraged to do it professionally. I hit 40 and decided to pursue it – here I am. It really does bring joy.
What does ‘love’ mean to you?
‘Maybe just for sure’ — Debbie Harry and Blondie. Love is an alignment on the kind of life you want to share and it stretches you, respectfully. It’s inviting someone to share the experience and nourishing each other with play, adventure and care.
What do you bring to the role of a wedding celebrant that noone else does?
I bring me – joyfully!
Why do you recommend that couples have a celebrant-led ceremony?
So much care, personalisation and thought can go into choosing other suppliers – why not the celebrant? The ceremony should be a celebration of the story so far, and everyone’s story is unique to them – a celebrant-led wedding enables this to happen well and in a way that feels authentic and meaningful. Also, it’s a fun and well-supported process that brings another person into your team that you can rely on to show up 100% for you on a huge milestone in your journey together. It can stretch people a bit along the way so that the promises they write and share will enhance their relationship, and they can look back on the ceremony with joy and a sense of ‘we made that happen’ (rather than a ceremony being done to them).
My most memorable wedding ceremony to date is…
There was a really kind and fun spirit about my ceremony with Nicole and Carlton that made it a joy from the first meeting, to shaping promises, and then to the rehearsal and the ceremony itself. They are very kind, creative people concerned with people and community, music, connection and having fun. Their ceremony had a long lead-in time and so we got to explore their thoughts about marriage and their values in detail together. We worked on their promises/vows separately to each other – so that was a surprise to them on the day. By the time the wedding rehearsal came around, we had a trusting relationship and could enjoy lovely and loaded silences as we went through the ceremony together – knowing what was to come. Their guests were wonderful – interested and curious people, who I really enjoyed meeting and talking to. All humanist ceremonies are like that in a way – there can’t be a favourite because they are unique events that are totally shaped by the individual personalities.
If I wasn’t a celebrant, I’d probably…
A celebrant is something that I do, well and with joy – but if I wasn’t one I’d still be me. If I stopped creating ceremonies tomorrow, all that creative energy and care would go to something else people-oriented, playful and generative. So maybe the time could go into more creative writing!
Tell us something no one knows about you…
I am a huge fan of the 80s Australian drama Prisoner Cell Block H