You’re Engaged – Now What?


Two grooms posing for their same sex wedding shoot


The ring’s on the finger, the proposal photos are scattered across your social media channels and you are feeling fully loved up and excited about commencing wedding planning.

So what happens now? Below are some tips for what to do now your other half has finally put a ring on it.


Do Nothing

Yes you heard right! It’s perfectly OK to just enjoy the moment and bask in a newly engaged glow. In fact, I personally think it is the best thing you can do.

By not rushing into researching Pinterest pins and wedding hashtags, you’re making sure that wedding planning commences only when you are ready, and when in the right frame of mind to not get overwhelmed and bombarded with conflicting ideas.


Identify shared values 

You don’t need to have a deep, soul searching conversation about the meaning of life (unless you want to of course…they can be wonderful ways to spend a cosy evening). However, by taking a little bit of time to discuss some shared values and priorities, you’ll lay a really good foundation before moving on to the wedding planning process.

When identifiying your values and priorities, dont think specifcially in terms of the wedding but of life in general. Are you a career-roientated couple? Does family mean the most to you? Are you risk takers or prefer to have peace of mind?

This may sound totally abstract and like it has no relevance, but being more self-aware will stand you in good stead when facing decisions about the look and feel of your wedding, For example, if family are your number one priority, you’ll want to ensure your wedding takes place on a date when all family members will be available. You may need to book a venue that is accessible for elderly relatives and think about entertainment options for any children invited.

If you’re a couple who value peace of mind and are a little risk adverse, you may prefer to book suppliers with years of experience and dozens of 5 star reviews, as oppossed to working with newer suppliers who might offer something new and orginal.

Inevitably at some point, a supplier will try and flog you something that seems sparkly, essential and a ‘must-have’ (must-haves don’t exist by the way but that’s a different post).  If this happens, refer back to your values and check whether it actually fits with who you are as a couple and if it feels at odds with what’s important to you, it will be much eaier to resist.


Look Beyond the Big Day

Your wedding day will be magical – I can pretty much gaurentee that. Why am I so sure? Simply because I have photographed so many weddings – from the small and intimate to the big and glossy and everything in between. I’ve seen trends come and go, witnessed mishaps and unplanned moments aplenty, and nothing has dimisnished the joy, excitement and feelings of unrivalled love that are ever present at every wedding.

However, in the build up to your wedding, it can be easy to lose perpective and begin to stress about making everything perfect. It is also very common to suffer from a serious case of post-wedding blues after the “I Do’s” have been shared and the first dance has been danced.

So, set some goals and plans for the first year of marriage; places you want to travel, firends you want to see, even rooms you want to paint. Write these down, pop them somewhere you can see them every day (the fridge is where we put ours) and when you find yourself losing sleep over choosing favours or colours of chair covers, remind yourself of what is important and regain that sense of perspective.


Wedding planning is half the fun of getting married, but by applying some of this advice, you can spare yourself some unneccesaary stress and pressure and coast serenely towards married life…


All of these tips (and plenty more) are discussed in detail in my wedding planning book entitled How to Have a Wedding as Individual as You Are and you can grab your copy on AMAZON today.





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